If you didn’t already know, I’m not particularly a big fan of weddings. Nor am I really into engagement rings. However, if you have read my post over at MakintheBacon, you will realize that I have had a change of heart. I’ve recently decided that I would like to get married and I would like an engagement ring to go along with the wedding band. Perhaps my biological clock just started ticking….
Due to the nature of both my full-time job and part-time job, I couldn’t wear a ring anyway. It’s not allowed at my full-time job because it’s a health and safety issue. I could only show it off when I went to visit friends and family. Or when I buy groceries.
It’s been several decades since DeBeers rolled out their engagement ring diamond campaign. Times have changed. Women are working now. They’re working full-time, overtime and working hard to carve a solid career. Some women, including myself are making more than their partners. Unfortunately, the making more for me equates to working more. Sometimes, women are earning significantly more and are considered the breadwinner of the family.
So why is it then that the guy is almost always pressured to ask the girl to marry her? The guy has to ask her out (I saved my guy the trouble and asked HIM out), woo her, pay for the first few dates and pop the big question. Poor guys! They have to go through so much trouble and possibly rejection.
What has also changed is that many couples are moving in together before marriage. It’s quite obvious that looking for a piece of property and buying that property together is a huge commitment. Although it is not marriage, I still consider it to be quite a big step in a relationship. With that being said, you end up sharing a lot of things. You most likely share a joint account because you are sharing a mortgage and other expenses.
So since the times of changed, the order of life events have seemed to change as well. After people have been living together in a condo or house for a while, sometimes the topic of marriage comes out, which usually ends up being the next step.
If you plan on having a traditional wedding, it can end up costing at least several thousands of dollars. It’s a huge expense, thus couples will share the cost of the wedding.
Isn’t an engagement ring considered to be a huge expense? Isn’t also considered to be one of the many expenses for a wedding? So if you’re both talking about it anyway and shopping for engagement rings together, why can’t you share the cost?
If however, the engagement is a complete surprise, then disregard the last paragraph and consider it irrelevant.
I know I can come off as a total hypocrite, because my partner is buying me my engagement ring. Birthday and Christmas gifts aside, if I wanted something for myself, I would buy it with my own money that I earned. I have never asked him to buy me something that I could have easily bought myself. I had offered to pay for half of the ring or contribute a few hundred, if the cost was a lot higher than I anticipated. I had proposed that deal on more than once occasion. Much to my surprise, that immediately got shot down.
Perhaps he didn’t want to make it seem like he couldn’t afford to get me a ring by himself? Maybe he didn’t want me to make excuses as to why we paid for a ring together?
Whether we like it or not, I think couples will be judged/critiqued to a certain extent from the moment they announce their engagement to what food is served at the reception. Everyone asks about the ring and wants to see it. People are curious to see how big the rock is. I have very small hands with thin fingers. My ring size turns out be 4 and ¾! A huge rock would actually look out-of-place and probably weigh my hand down.
Do you think it’s ok to split the cost of an engagement ring? Why or why not?